Fullness of Joy

“ If your first concern is to look after yourself, you'll never find yourself. But if you forget about yourself and look to me, you'll find both yourself and me.” –Matt 10:39

Last night in my Holy Yoga Masters training, I was introduced to “Trauma-Sensitive Holy Yoga” (Thanks Heidi Vance!)  In this practice, a healing journey is pursued through the use of the breath, mindfulness and movement.  It is an empowering practice that allows students to gain awareness into how trauma has affected them: mind, body, & spirit.  The human response to trauma is personal and unique for each individual.  God gifted each of us with automatic coping skills that help us get to the other side of a traumatic event.  We may run.  We may fight.  OR (like I tend to do), we may freeze!  This was my a-ha moment of self discovery through the power of the Holy Spirit.  In my experience with trauma, I am a “freezer”.  Being a “freezer” isn’t necessarily bad… It is a survival skill that may work in certain situations…(maybe?)  But the problem with being a perpetual “freezer”  is that we can go numb as a result (pun intended).  When we (I!) continue to practice this skill of freezing, we don’t really ever process the trauma.  It can get stuck in our souls like a revolving memory.  Really the act of numbing our feelings is the opposite of “practicing presence’.  One of the reasons I love the practice of yoga is that it forces me to BE STILL.  I can forget my “to do lists”, step away from the busy, and just be in the moment.  A rare opportunity practice presence.   It is in this space that The Lord often reveals Himself to us.  It is also in this space of stillness that He shows us who we are.  He did this for me this week.  He showed me how I have a space in my heart that is closed off for self protection.  He is gently restoring that space and allowing me to heal.   See, When we push down those emotions and feelings we are burying our hearts.  Closing them off to the bad, but also to the good!!  Jesus does not want this, friends.  In John 10:10 He says “I came that you may have and ENJOY life… and have it abundantly”  It is in HIS presence that we can truly have FULLNESS of JOY (Ps 16:11)   With our buried worries is buried joy. Numbness closes us off to the intimate relationship with the Lord.  Let’s open our hearts to be fully present and experience life in abundance and fullness of joy. 

Divine Grace

"You are being completed in Him"- Col 2:10

 I love that this speaks to my becoming.  It reminds me that I am a work in progress and that it is only through Him that I will blossom into the woman He created me to be.  Pressure off.  It is not by my own accomplishments and my striving.  Not my own doing or any works that He finds favor in me.  It is ONLY through the Grace of Jesus Christ that I am made complete. 

The greek translation for completed is katertizo.

Katerizo:  to fit or join together; prepare or prefect for it's full destination or use and to bring into proper condition.

See, he is completing us by repairing what has been broken.  Repairing what WE carelessly handle.  Even the things we recklessly handle.  Of course we break stuff.  We are just bulls running around in a china shop.  Toddlers in a glass cathedral full of tons of tiny fragile figurines.   That's us.  We tear things up.

But he restores.  Where we neglect, he carefully and tenderly mends.  He doesn't just haphazardly fix the damage.  His Master plan  includes a complete remodel when necessary.   An extreme heart/soul makeover that is a more beautiful version than we can imagine.  And He clears the path before us and smooths the paths behind us where we stirred up all the dirt and muck.  We are constantly being Completed in Him. By the POWER of His divine grace.

Mountain Top Moment: It's a musical journey

Just back from Holy Yoga training retreat, today I am taking you on a musical journey as I reflect on what the Lord is teaching me.

Carinthia – I Am With You Always:
 I went in to retreat hungry.  Craving to hear from Him... Up close and personal.  I wanted that "mountaintop moment" of coming face to face with my Holy Creator.  I was screaming..."SHOW ME ME GOD!!!  Show me who YOU are.  Show me who I am in YOU".

A Great Big World – Say Something: 
Lord you tell me... "call to me and I will answer you and will tell you great and hidden things that you have not known."  -Jer 33:3
See, I was striving after Him.  Calling to Him.  He gently said," stop striving and BE STILL...

The xx – Try:
But still, I strived.  I strived to surrender (and in case you're wondering, duh...this doesn't really work)  He said, "beloved, let go.  I am here.  He gently reminded me that I am saved by grace & He has sent His son to save me.
"Saving is all His idea, and all His work.  All we do is trust Him enough to let Him do it.  It's God's gift from start to finish!!  We don't play the major role."  - Ephesians 2:8


Josh Garrels – Never Have I Found:  
But, He said, "you have a choice to make.  Me or the world.  Flesh or the Spirit."  If I simply open my hands, He will take all of the junk of this world exchange it for freedom.
"The thief approaches with malicious intent looking to steal, slaughter, and destroy; I came to give life with joy and abundance."  -John 10:10

Mumford & Sons – Awake My Soul:
You know what?  The world keeps pulling me back.   So I white knuckle.  I drag my wrecked self, broken and insecure toward the lies of this world.  The lie that "in these bodies we will live and in these bodies we will die."  I self doubt.  I worry that I might need to hold on to some of the "things" of this world!  They are my protection.  If I could just get to the top of that mountain.
 But He says..." NO!  I have more for you.  I have life in abundance.  Joy for tears.  I am offering you freedom!  Simply receive grace.  That's it.  You have already arrived."

Muse – Madness:
So this idea of grace is finally starting to take hold.  I must turn from this flesh driven life and be transformed.
"Do not be conformed to the patterns of this world, but be transformed by the renaming of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect" - Rom 12:2
I hear his voice..."do you love me?  Feed my sheep".  See, it's not about ME.
Now.... I have finally seen the light.

Bethany Dillon – In Christ Alone
My "all about me" quest to the mountain top began to shift to praise and worship.  The focus became less about me and more about Him.  It is in Him that my hope is found.

KB – Church Clap (feat. Lecrae)
Just as I can't fake a strong core, I can't fake true faith.  If I simply"go through the motions of worship and praise, I will be left empty and weak.

Matt Maher – Lord, I Need You
Wait.  Oh no.  I am pulling back again.  I. Can't. Surrender.  I can't give it all to You.  I can't live by the Spirit.  This world is calling me.  Distracting me.  tempting me.  But again, he takes my hand and leads me to the path of still water and restores my soul.  And so I sing...."teach my soul to rise to you"... and I rest agin in the promise that I am be transformed by the renewing of my mind.

Hillsong Live – I Surrender - Live
..."here I am down on my knees again surrendering all."  He tells me.  "you are wasting time WAITING to grow closer to me...waiting to fully embrace my love..." "Stop waiting and LIVE TRUTH...."" You have been on the mountain top this whole time.  LOOK AROUND dear, THIS is what you were created for.  To glorify me and enjoy me forever.  STOP striving.  Rest, embrace freedom.  Live love."
"God delivered His people out of the bondage of captivity in babylon.... God was wonderful to us; we are one happy people"

Jeremy Camp – Overcome

So finally the striving and begging gave way to freedom and praise.  Worthy of honor and glory and worthy of all my praise.  Awesome and great is your name.  You exchanged ashes for beauty.  Tears for joy!

Chris Tomlin – Amazing Grace (My Chains Are Gone)

My chains are gone!  I've been set free!!!  I am now able to look around in awe & wonder.  I am on top of the mountain.  Met by my Maker.