Carinthia – I Am With You Always:
I went in to retreat hungry. Craving to hear from Him... Up close and personal. I wanted that "mountaintop moment" of coming face to face with my Holy Creator. I was screaming..."SHOW ME ME GOD!!! Show me who YOU are. Show me who I am in YOU".
A Great Big World – Say Something:
Lord you tell me... "call to me and I will answer you and will tell you great and hidden things that you have not known." -Jer 33:3
See, I was striving after Him. Calling to Him. He gently said," stop striving and BE STILL...
The xx – Try:
But still, I strived. I strived to surrender (and in case you're wondering, duh...this doesn't really work) He said, "beloved, let go. I am here. He gently reminded me that I am saved by grace & He has sent His son to save me.
"Saving is all His idea, and all His work. All we do is trust Him enough to let Him do it. It's God's gift from start to finish!! We don't play the major role." - Ephesians 2:8
Josh Garrels – Never Have I Found:
But, He said, "you have a choice to make. Me or the world. Flesh or the Spirit." If I simply open my hands, He will take all of the junk of this world exchange it for freedom.
"The thief approaches with malicious intent looking to steal, slaughter, and destroy; I came to give life with joy and abundance." -John 10:10
Mumford & Sons – Awake My Soul:
You know what? The world keeps pulling me back. So I white knuckle. I drag my wrecked self, broken and insecure toward the lies of this world. The lie that "in these bodies we will live and in these bodies we will die." I self doubt. I worry that I might need to hold on to some of the "things" of this world! They are my protection. If I could just get to the top of that mountain.
But He says..." NO! I have more for you. I have life in abundance. Joy for tears. I am offering you freedom! Simply receive grace. That's it. You have already arrived."
Muse – Madness:
So this idea of grace is finally starting to take hold. I must turn from this flesh driven life and be transformed.
"Do not be conformed to the patterns of this world, but be transformed by the renaming of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect" - Rom 12:2
I hear his voice..."do you love me? Feed my sheep". See, it's not about ME.
Now.... I have finally seen the light.
Bethany Dillon – In Christ Alone
My "all about me" quest to the mountain top began to shift to praise and worship. The focus became less about me and more about Him. It is in Him that my hope is found.
KB – Church Clap (feat. Lecrae)
Just as I can't fake a strong core, I can't fake true faith. If I simply"go through the motions of worship and praise, I will be left empty and weak.
Matt Maher – Lord, I Need You
Wait. Oh no. I am pulling back again. I. Can't. Surrender. I can't give it all to You. I can't live by the Spirit. This world is calling me. Distracting me. tempting me. But again, he takes my hand and leads me to the path of still water and restores my soul. And so I sing...."teach my soul to rise to you"... and I rest agin in the promise that I am be transformed by the renewing of my mind.
Hillsong Live – I Surrender - Live
..."here I am down on my knees again surrendering all." He tells me. "you are wasting time WAITING to grow closer to me...waiting to fully embrace my love..." "Stop waiting and LIVE TRUTH...."" You have been on the mountain top this whole time. LOOK AROUND dear, THIS is what you were created for. To glorify me and enjoy me forever. STOP striving. Rest, embrace freedom. Live love."
"God delivered His people out of the bondage of captivity in babylon.... God was wonderful to us; we are one happy people"
So finally the striving and begging gave way to freedom and praise. Worthy of honor and glory and worthy of all my praise. Awesome and great is your name. You exchanged ashes for beauty. Tears for joy!
My chains are gone! I've been set free!!! I am now able to look around in awe & wonder. I am on top of the mountain. Met by my Maker.
