Fullness of Joy

“ If your first concern is to look after yourself, you'll never find yourself. But if you forget about yourself and look to me, you'll find both yourself and me.” –Matt 10:39

Last night in my Holy Yoga Masters training, I was introduced to “Trauma-Sensitive Holy Yoga” (Thanks Heidi Vance!)  In this practice, a healing journey is pursued through the use of the breath, mindfulness and movement.  It is an empowering practice that allows students to gain awareness into how trauma has affected them: mind, body, & spirit.  The human response to trauma is personal and unique for each individual.  God gifted each of us with automatic coping skills that help us get to the other side of a traumatic event.  We may run.  We may fight.  OR (like I tend to do), we may freeze!  This was my a-ha moment of self discovery through the power of the Holy Spirit.  In my experience with trauma, I am a “freezer”.  Being a “freezer” isn’t necessarily bad… It is a survival skill that may work in certain situations…(maybe?)  But the problem with being a perpetual “freezer”  is that we can go numb as a result (pun intended).  When we (I!) continue to practice this skill of freezing, we don’t really ever process the trauma.  It can get stuck in our souls like a revolving memory.  Really the act of numbing our feelings is the opposite of “practicing presence’.  One of the reasons I love the practice of yoga is that it forces me to BE STILL.  I can forget my “to do lists”, step away from the busy, and just be in the moment.  A rare opportunity practice presence.   It is in this space that The Lord often reveals Himself to us.  It is also in this space of stillness that He shows us who we are.  He did this for me this week.  He showed me how I have a space in my heart that is closed off for self protection.  He is gently restoring that space and allowing me to heal.   See, When we push down those emotions and feelings we are burying our hearts.  Closing them off to the bad, but also to the good!!  Jesus does not want this, friends.  In John 10:10 He says “I came that you may have and ENJOY life… and have it abundantly”  It is in HIS presence that we can truly have FULLNESS of JOY (Ps 16:11)   With our buried worries is buried joy. Numbness closes us off to the intimate relationship with the Lord.  Let’s open our hearts to be fully present and experience life in abundance and fullness of joy. 

Divine Grace

"You are being completed in Him"- Col 2:10

 I love that this speaks to my becoming.  It reminds me that I am a work in progress and that it is only through Him that I will blossom into the woman He created me to be.  Pressure off.  It is not by my own accomplishments and my striving.  Not my own doing or any works that He finds favor in me.  It is ONLY through the Grace of Jesus Christ that I am made complete. 

The greek translation for completed is katertizo.

Katerizo:  to fit or join together; prepare or prefect for it's full destination or use and to bring into proper condition.

See, he is completing us by repairing what has been broken.  Repairing what WE carelessly handle.  Even the things we recklessly handle.  Of course we break stuff.  We are just bulls running around in a china shop.  Toddlers in a glass cathedral full of tons of tiny fragile figurines.   That's us.  We tear things up.

But he restores.  Where we neglect, he carefully and tenderly mends.  He doesn't just haphazardly fix the damage.  His Master plan  includes a complete remodel when necessary.   An extreme heart/soul makeover that is a more beautiful version than we can imagine.  And He clears the path before us and smooths the paths behind us where we stirred up all the dirt and muck.  We are constantly being Completed in Him. By the POWER of His divine grace.

Mountain Top Moment: It's a musical journey

Just back from Holy Yoga training retreat, today I am taking you on a musical journey as I reflect on what the Lord is teaching me.

Carinthia – I Am With You Always:
 I went in to retreat hungry.  Craving to hear from Him... Up close and personal.  I wanted that "mountaintop moment" of coming face to face with my Holy Creator.  I was screaming..."SHOW ME ME GOD!!!  Show me who YOU are.  Show me who I am in YOU".

A Great Big World – Say Something: 
Lord you tell me... "call to me and I will answer you and will tell you great and hidden things that you have not known."  -Jer 33:3
See, I was striving after Him.  Calling to Him.  He gently said," stop striving and BE STILL...

The xx – Try:
But still, I strived.  I strived to surrender (and in case you're wondering, duh...this doesn't really work)  He said, "beloved, let go.  I am here.  He gently reminded me that I am saved by grace & He has sent His son to save me.
"Saving is all His idea, and all His work.  All we do is trust Him enough to let Him do it.  It's God's gift from start to finish!!  We don't play the major role."  - Ephesians 2:8


Josh Garrels – Never Have I Found:  
But, He said, "you have a choice to make.  Me or the world.  Flesh or the Spirit."  If I simply open my hands, He will take all of the junk of this world exchange it for freedom.
"The thief approaches with malicious intent looking to steal, slaughter, and destroy; I came to give life with joy and abundance."  -John 10:10

Mumford & Sons – Awake My Soul:
You know what?  The world keeps pulling me back.   So I white knuckle.  I drag my wrecked self, broken and insecure toward the lies of this world.  The lie that "in these bodies we will live and in these bodies we will die."  I self doubt.  I worry that I might need to hold on to some of the "things" of this world!  They are my protection.  If I could just get to the top of that mountain.
 But He says..." NO!  I have more for you.  I have life in abundance.  Joy for tears.  I am offering you freedom!  Simply receive grace.  That's it.  You have already arrived."

Muse – Madness:
So this idea of grace is finally starting to take hold.  I must turn from this flesh driven life and be transformed.
"Do not be conformed to the patterns of this world, but be transformed by the renaming of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect" - Rom 12:2
I hear his voice..."do you love me?  Feed my sheep".  See, it's not about ME.
Now.... I have finally seen the light.

Bethany Dillon – In Christ Alone
My "all about me" quest to the mountain top began to shift to praise and worship.  The focus became less about me and more about Him.  It is in Him that my hope is found.

KB – Church Clap (feat. Lecrae)
Just as I can't fake a strong core, I can't fake true faith.  If I simply"go through the motions of worship and praise, I will be left empty and weak.

Matt Maher – Lord, I Need You
Wait.  Oh no.  I am pulling back again.  I. Can't. Surrender.  I can't give it all to You.  I can't live by the Spirit.  This world is calling me.  Distracting me.  tempting me.  But again, he takes my hand and leads me to the path of still water and restores my soul.  And so I sing...."teach my soul to rise to you"... and I rest agin in the promise that I am be transformed by the renewing of my mind.

Hillsong Live – I Surrender - Live
..."here I am down on my knees again surrendering all."  He tells me.  "you are wasting time WAITING to grow closer to me...waiting to fully embrace my love..." "Stop waiting and LIVE TRUTH...."" You have been on the mountain top this whole time.  LOOK AROUND dear, THIS is what you were created for.  To glorify me and enjoy me forever.  STOP striving.  Rest, embrace freedom.  Live love."
"God delivered His people out of the bondage of captivity in babylon.... God was wonderful to us; we are one happy people"

Jeremy Camp – Overcome

So finally the striving and begging gave way to freedom and praise.  Worthy of honor and glory and worthy of all my praise.  Awesome and great is your name.  You exchanged ashes for beauty.  Tears for joy!

Chris Tomlin – Amazing Grace (My Chains Are Gone)

My chains are gone!  I've been set free!!!  I am now able to look around in awe & wonder.  I am on top of the mountain.  Met by my Maker.  

Mercy and Forgiveness

Matthew 5:8 "Blessed are the merciful, for they will be shown mercy."
What does it really mean to be merciful… To show mercy?  I think I treat others fairly.  I try to "do unto others as I would have them to do unto me"! I take dinners to friends who are having a rough day (sometimes)… I help friends with childcare issues… I even let others pull out in front of me in traffic if I am able! Ahhhh…. BUT.  Those same friends have been bringing me dinners when I needed them, helping me with my kids, and I am always so thankful when SOMEONE finally lets me out when I am trying to pull out of the High School at drop off time!   Justice is getting what we deserve.  Mercy is something altogether different!  Mercy is receiving something that we do not deserve! Forgiving someone who has not earned forgiveness!  How many times should we FORGIVE?  What if what that person has done the "unforgivable."  
In Matthew 18, Peter came to Jesus asking the same question… "Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother when he sins against me?  Up to seven times?  Jesus answered I tell you, not seven times, but SEVENTY-SEVEN times." 

BUT how are we able to do this?  How can we possibly have mercy for someone when they have shattered our hopes and dreams?  When they have harmed those that we love the most… or when they have stolen that which is most dear to us?  HOW can we possibly have mercy?  Well that is an easy answer:  we can't unless the Holy Spirit intercedes and changes our hearts.  The Hebrew word for mercy is "cheesed".  The word means more than just sympathizing with another, or feeling sorry for them… even more than simply empathizing with them.  It means to get right inside another person and see life through their eyes.  To think with their minds.  To feel with their feelings.  It is taking on all their past experiences and feeling the weight of them as we see the world through their eyes.  It is ONLY through the POWER of the Holy Spirit that we can do this.  Forgive the unforgivable.  Love the Unlovable.  
Then, we too will be shown mercy.  

  

Meekness is not weakness

"Blessed are the meek, for they will inherit the earth." -Mark 5:5

Think, for a moment, about success.  What comes to mind?  A "go getter"?  A big house with a nice car in front of it?  Straight A's, scholarships, awards…we teach our kids to set their goals high and go after them, right?  Not to settle for mediocrity.  But Jesus tells us that the meek will inherit the earth.  What does this mean?  As I dug into this verse, I came to the conclusion that Jesus DOES want us to be ambitious …driven… successful!  He just wants us to do it in a meek manner.  

Christ Himself was meek.  He was humble & forgiving, full of grace and mercy!  He was also Full of passion and power! POWER brought under control.  Soooo, the meekness that Jesus is preaching about is one of humble submission.  This takes strength, friends.   The Greeks used the word praus to describe the a wild horse that has been broken. That once wild, bucking horse is now a calm and submissive. But that horse still has the same strength and passion, it is just channeled for the benefit of it's master.  See, the way I understand it, meekness is is not an extinguishing of our inner passion,  it is igniting it!  Then instead of just letting it burn freely, we channel our passions!  We channel our God-given spiritual gifts, and our Christ given Holy power to be used for His glory.   It’s not a weakening  of our passion… it is CHANNELING it…. !  And in doing so we become rich. 

  "You're blessed when you're content with JUST who you are-no more, no less.  That's the moment you find yourself proud owners of everything that can't be bought."-Matt 5:5 The Message Bible

Blessed are those that mourn

"Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted."-Matthew 5:4

God is the ultimate Comforter.  He can turn ashes to beauty.  He promises to bring us hope and a future, even in the midst of the storm of great loss.  Have you experienced a loss so significant that your whole life seemed meaningless and hopeless?  Well, this is His promise to you: "You will be comforted!".  In essence, He says "CONGRATULATIONS... I see your great loss and I will turn your dark moment into glorious light... I will give you hope."

I have been witness to great tragedy and loss.  I have heard the echoes of a friend's desperate screams in the midst of sobs.  I heard the cries that rang of complete loss.  Held the hand of a young widow as she looked in her daughter's eyes and told her "Daddy is in heaven"... And I was there as the sun rose behind the mountain, when the shock of loss turned to raw mourning. 

Jesus says "Blessed are those who mourn"....This "empty, nothing left to give" type of mourning is what Jesus was talking about.  Do you grieve this deeply for your sin?  I ask myself if I have truly ever felt so convicted of my sin that I fell to my knees like a grieving widow.  Do we TRULY connect our sin to the death of our beautiful Savior?  When will we get to that point?... The moment the Holy Spirit convicts us in such a way that we are completely empty of self. The point where we are so distraught over our sin that we have nothing left.  When we realize that we powerless...keenly aware of our lack of control.  When we (and maybe you already are! )get to that point, then, we will have no choice BUT to surrender.  When will die to self Jesus will bring us into a spiritual maturity and we will be blessed, for we mourn.  And we will be comforted. 

Being Blessed

What does it really mean to be blessed? I dove into this question this week as I began studying Matthew 5... the Beatitudes.  So here is the scene.  Jesus was just baptized by John, publicly blessed by His Father, and we witness the  manifestation of the Trinity as the Holy Spirit descended like a dove.  After being tempted in the desert, He began His public ministry, and gave us a sort of road map to the true path of "blessedness".  Not happiness.  Blessedness... Like skim milk vs. cream.   To be blessed is to be Spiritually prosperous. "To walk righteously in joy".  To have EVERYTHING you need.  "FULLfilling" JOY-not dependent on your life circumstances, or your paycheck, or your health, or you child's successes... a deeper seated contentment.  The Hebrew translation of blessed , esher,  really got my attention.  It implies the sense of congratulations! "CONGRATULATIONS!... You are poor in spirit!"  "CONGRATULATIONS! ... You mourn."  It is an expression of approval from our God!  Why in the world would he congratulate us when we are "poor in spirit" or when we mourn??? Because He knows the rest of the story... The ending.  He knows that when there is less of us, there is more of Him.  He knows that when we mourn, our Heavenly Father will embrace us and fill us with a love and a peace that we can not humanly comprehend.  So go.  Be blessed. 

...to be continued!